I slept at 3.30am this morning. Mebbe its the coffee that is causing my eyes to stick wide open. Mebbe its because of my ever-extensive to-do list that's making my stress hormones go round and round. Or mebbe... I have too much to think about...
Things may seems normal... Everything may seem fine... But deep down, I continue to wonder, continue to ponder. What is the future like? Would i be like the woman in that beautiful car, wearing wonderful working suits, working with people who are making news everyday? Or would i be the mother hitting her child at the station, looking all tired and stressed? The future is so unpredictable, yet real. It seems so blur and uncertain...
I wonder...
Life is like a wall. Hard. Rough. Cold. Emotionless. Unfeeling
They say life is not fair. I say life is dark. Like the blackness of the night. The color of nothing.
They say life is rough. Like the sand on a lonely beach. Like the rock in the bottomless sea.
I tried sliding my palm against the wall. Again and again. Scratches. Blood. But no pain.
I tired hammering the wall with my fist. Again and Again. Bruise. Blood. But no pain.
Is there realli no pain? Or is it that i can't feel the pain?
I can't feel. Like a song, my heart sings sorrowfully. Like a widow, my heart weeps.
Like a well, the sadness sank deep. Like a river, my tears flow.
My brain tells me to stop hurting myself. Yet, my heart tells me to carry on.
Stopping my physical hurtings. Only to feel the pain in my heart.
I tried to listen to my brain. Yet, I'm masked by the echos of my heart.
Echos. My heart died. Leaving only echos.
I revive my heart on hope. Yet, how much hope do i have to give?
I revive my heart on hope. Yet, how much pain can hope support?
I'm tired. I'm scared. The future seems bleak.
I'm frightened.
Ironies of our life.
Life all begins with birth. Life all ends with death. After a birth, it is evitable that a death will follow. To celebrate a birth when we all know that a death would be near. Is that irony? To be sad when a death came by. Is that yet another irony. Our lives are full of ironies. We live to die. We die to live (which some ppl believe in). We eat to s**t, we s**t to eat. We created air-con for a cooler room, yet the world outside gets warmer everyday. We work so hard for so long, yet for so long our hard work do not get recognise. Steve Irwin work so hard to save the wildlife, yet after his death the wildlife he tried to save gets hurt. Diamond aren't suppose to last forever. Friendship and love too. But we are striving to buy diamonds, struggling to keep in touch with all our friends, struggling to maintain a happiness with our love ones. We marry to stay with our love one forever, yet many of us are divorcing.
Ironies. Ironies. Ironies.
What can happen in one week? What can happen in one day? What can happen in one hour? What can happen in one minute? What can happen in one second? Alot. Alot alot. In one week, you can run every morning and lose a few kilograms. In one day, you can read books and gain unmeasurable amount of knowledge. In one hour, you can fly a kite and be completely relaxed. In one minute, you can change an answer on your script, converting a fail to a pass. On one second, you can push a kid out of an oncoming car, saving an innocent kid who have the possiblilty to be the next Einstein.
Changes. What changes can you make for yourself and for others? Try it out and you'll see~!
How much is enough? How much do we know that it is finally enough? Or never will be enough? Enough. Wad is it? Measurable or not? Touch-able? See-able? Feel-able?
Singapore celebrated Teachers' Day yesterday. Schools were conducted half day, or totally not. Celebrations were in the air as ex-students return to their ala mater, stage full of performers and presents presented. Okae. This sounds lyk a news report. Mebbe that's the result of doing PW too much...
Yesterday was a real busy day! In IJC, there were lots of celebrations, lots of performances (though not veri gd, veri still...
Good effort!! ) Then,
me,
juan and
jian de rushed back to
Swiss Cottage to see our ex-teachers. It was a veri nice kinda feeling. I had to rushed alot as IJC released us alot later den other sch. My ex-classmates were already waiting for us when i arrived. To reduce their waiting time, i had to run alot. I met
Mr. Wee,
Mrs. Heng,
Mr. Ravi,ms. Lim Lay Har and
Mr Lim.
Mr Lim had resigned. For wad reasons i dunno... I was quite disappointed when i heard that, tot he would make a good teacher.... Rushing to Com Lab 4 (Juniors are getting ready for NJRC Competition Interview), i wished them luck and heard that
Mr Lim was in e coffee shop. Thus, i rushed all the way again. I think he was quite surprised to receive his present....
=) )
Finally, i met some of my ex-classmates ( Keet wan, Wee Wee, Jian de, Sui chang, Ping han, Jing Yi, Clement, Ian) for lunch. I'm glad we were still friends~! We went for KFC and ordered family meal. I din real enjoy the food (coz abit sick of all the oil and stuff... ) but enjoy e time spent there. It wasn't easy to come together as wad we used to be, but i'm glad everyone made effort. After the
superb lunch, Ping han, Clement, Jinye had to go for some stuff. ian left too. The rest then went for a walk in JP. I had to go half way thru coz Ben was callin me to meet his frens. As i had nth much to do there, I excuse myself n went off....
So i met his frens. They were veri friendly, veri joyful kinda person. Each got their own style, their own way of doin things, but its heartening to see everyone being involved in some way. =) Realli nice ppl... But wad a movie~!!! Frostbite... is realli frostbite... Everything is lyk so lame... So... nto funni... Yucky. Bloody. Totally a nono... in addition, its in Swedish.. So... u have to read e subtitles... totally... Oh my goodness...
But still i enjoyed my time there. How come 12C can nvr be lyk dat? onli 23 ppl... yet... we are as seperated as 23 individuals... haiz.. Wad a big difference~!!!
