I felt alot of things todae.. Pain, anger, sadness and fear...
I can't imagine this... I'm realli afraid that i may experience wad i experienced in my primary 1 days... Sadness. Loneliness... That was my dark period... my real crisis time. There was so much pain invovled there i virtualli had to cry myself to slp every nite... It was realli a pain. Stabbing pain... When pri 4 came, i vowed to myself that this will nvr happened to me again. And thus i opened my heart and change my personality altogether, gaining frens, which i nvr had before... frm den on, i aim to care for everyone of my frens, make time for them. I aimed to be there for them whenever they nid help, to make sure that they are nt alone. That i will always accompany them when they are likely to b alone. I sincerely do not wish ppl to end up lyk wad i was in my pri 1... Frenless, lonely, and being hated.
But when all my frens decide to skip school, all without me, leaving me alone all again, the fear strikes back. I was all alone again. Frenless, lonely... perhaps too small a person to be hated... I'm alreadi learning to be independent, friends or without... But its nt easy. i vowed nt to be lyk dat again n yet, i'm learning to break my vow. For the first time, i found myself out of the crowd. I found myself helpless... all again... I smiled in frnt of my civics grp but inside, i'm aching, forcing myself nt to think of them, trying hard.
i nvr wanted to be lyk dat... nvr in my life did i want dis to happen to me again. Once is enough. To put me thru dis again, i prob die. Simple. A jump off my floor, A cut on my wrist. Its easi u noe. When u r alreadi all numb inside. U wun feel the pain... But i nvr want to live my life lyk dat... its total waste of time to do that. but... to think in terms of a man hu gave up hope... its easi...
